'Tell me what happens the first time you see a woman naked.'
'The first time you see a woman naked will not be like you imagined. There will be no love, no trust, no intimacy. You won’t even be in the same room as her.
You won’t get to smile as she undresses you and you undress her. You won’t get to calm her nerves with nerves of your own. You won’t get to kiss her, feeling her lips and the edge of her tongue. You won’t get to brush your fingers over the lace of her bra or count her ribs or feel her heartbeat.
The first time you see a woman naked you will be sitting in front of a computer screen watching someone play at intimacy and perform at sex. She will contort her body to please everyone in the room but her. You will watch this woman who is not a woman, pixelated and filtered and customized. She will come ready-made, like an order at a restaurant. The man on the screen will be bigger than you, rougher than you. He will teach you how to talk to her. He will teach you where to put your hands and he will teach you what you’re supposed to like. He will teach you to take what is yours.
You must unlearn this. You must unlearn this twisted sense of love. You must unlearn the definition of pleasure and intimacy you are being taught. Kill this idea of love, this idea of entitlement, this way of scarring one another.’
it’s the strangest thing… this entire year has been a series of the exact same loop. i get to such a low point that i completely feel like I’m not thinking anything but I’m actually thinking a crap load but not registering a single thing that’s going through my mind. and i get so low that i forget how to get up and then something will happen to make me forget why or how i got so low and then i’ll be fine, no… i’ll be more than fine i’ll be ecstatic and grateful and joyful and then i’ll watch a movie about the loop or witness a friend enter the loop again and it just sucks me straight back into the loop. because the loop isn’t so much an endless cycle as a black hole. things get sucked into black holes and just disappear and thats the loop with people. the loop sucks in anyone who is foolish enough to stand near it and it makes that person disappear, most probably not to the rest of the world as people might expect but to themselves and for an uncountable number of days that person nothing in the loop. the loop has no time scale, it is impossible to measure the amount of time spent in the loop because anyone who’s been inside the loop doesn’t know their own amount of time spent in the loop. but once you’ve fought your way out of the loop you become either deathly scared of it, which then places you dangerously close to it again, or you forget about your time spent in the loop in which case the next time you get sucked into the loop its as off you’re trying to fight your way out of it for the first time and everyone who’s ever been in the loop knows the first fight is the hardest. so in order to hopefully one day live is to loose all thoughts of fear from the loop which ironically means that in order to escape the loop you have to live on the edge of the black hole and face away from it and eliminate all traces of the urge to turn around and look at the beautifully horrifying thing that is the black hole of the loop. thats why most artists are so fucked up. the see the beauty in all things that seem horrifying to those who have never experienced the loop. every artist’s work is a representation of their experience of the loop (or their experience of it) and often the most beautiful artworks to survivors of the loop are pieces that can most accurately describe that particular person’s version of the loop, whether it be the good side of their loop, or bad.
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”
THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS